From now on, in my head, you live with three humans, several cats, and your charmingly-named comorbities: Aloysius, Murgatroyd, and er Thingummy?

I'd sort of assumed that strict cleansing requirements were sort of a backup clause to point to when customers do odd things. "Did we suggest that [taking it deep sea diving] would be a good way to clean it? I'm so sorry, but it's not our fault."