pameladean: (Default)
pameladean ([personal profile] pameladean) wrote2021-10-11 04:41 pm

Joy and Transformation amidst the Unwelcome Sameness

Hello, you all. I am in that exasperating (to me, at any rate) state where I write entries in my head all the time but I never post them.

This requires posting, however.

I've often mentioned my long-time partner Raphael in this space. Some of you have met Raphael. If I manage to start posting again, you will not see that name any more. I'll be talking about Cameron. Her last name is Reed, though I don't usually use any partner's last name here. She is the same partner and the same person, but she has transitioned. Her pronouns are she or they. I guess, if you know her from long ago and have taken pleasure in Hellsparking the pronouns, you could still do that.

This is a profoundly joyous and very welcome development, though I'm sorry she ended up going through most of it during an ongoing and mishandled pandemic.

It's National Coming Out Day, so I guess I'll mention that I'm bisexual.

In other news, the upstairs furnace doesn't want to start up, the friend who has been nursing it along for us is laid up with both the flu and an injury, and I am worried about getting actual repair people in because I fear that they will reflexively red-tag the furnace even though it probably just needs a minor adjustment. It is as old as the house, which was built in 1916. It's no longer powered by coal, and was retrofitted with a pressure tank a decade or so ago after the replacement expansion tank in the upstairs bathroom began leaking after only a few years of use. The previous one also had leaked, but only after about 90 years.

I have the names of a bunch of companies that will definitely red-tag it and am trying to run down one that won't.

Other news, other news. The year 2020 has apparently done a real number on my executive function. It's somewhat better after several months of taking Vitamin B12 to address a deficiency. After I get my COVID-19 booster next week, I'll have lab work done and we'll see where my levels are and whether more improvement can be expected.

I had some weeks of very good productive work on the perpetual revisions of the novel currently called Going North. I'm stalled out again now, partly because I'm working on other long-overdue necessary matters like taxes. I've had to clear all or part of my desk twice in the past year and a half, once to address a hole in the screen of one window and again to make space to replace the air conditioner. I eventually accomplished these necessary clearances by shoving everything into a series of paper bags. Sorting would still be going on (as in fact it is) and I would have had no air conditioner through several more very nasty heat waves and would still not have one now, if I had insisted on things' being sorted as a preliminary. The paperback fiction aisle containing K through just-barely-W is still packed with stuff from my office.

The yard is a jungle and I have 48 species tulip bulbs arriving sometime this week.

Hiking has been a little erratic because of heat waves and thunderstorms, but the hikes we've had have been really beautiful and contained many interesting moments. There's a dearth of meadowhawks this year, it seems, but we did see some autumn ones on the last few hikes, as well as spotted spreadwings at the Carpenter Nature Center. We saw a prince baskettail snatch a moth out of the air and devour it just over our heads, dropping the wings at our feet. At the same spot just before, we had seen an osprey descend with enormous force and speed and snatch a fish out of the water. We saw a beaver swimming the length of a long pond to bring back water-lily leaves, one by one, to its lodge. We saw green herons. We saw a great blue heron, standing in the shallows of the Mississippi River, catch its own fish, spend several geometric moments moving the fish around without dropping it to get it lined up with its gullet, and then gulping it down. We saw many other things that I'm not recalling at the moment. Most of the common skimmers, ebony jewelwings, American rubyspots. Oh, and orange bluets. Montissippi, a regional park in Wright County with a fabulous dragonfly and bird population and the worst portapotties known to us, provided a generous array of darners and bluets mating and ovipositing; also, later in the year, a pileated woodpecker hammering away on a dead cottonwood branch. We've heard it before and since, but that was our only viewing.

All these hikes were with Cameron. I also went with Eric for two nights at St. Croix State Park, where a friend had planned a camping and gaming weekend for people still skittish about ordinary gatherings. I don't game, but Eric does. It's a beautiful park, and we had a fine time exploring it. We did not see the dragonflies I had hoped for, but finally we went down to the canoe landing where the rental canoes are, when it was early enough in the day for the river to be sunny, and saw several dragonhunters, a majestic and alarming kind of clubtail that preys on other dragonflies. Eric had seen one of those before when we went to Wild River together some years ago. But  at the canoe rental landing at St. Croix, he also saw his first American rubyspots. We also very much enjoyed hanging out with friends in what at the time was a safe manner.

David and I have been taking rapid antigen tests and then going out to have lunch at my mother's about every other week. The pandemic has been pretty hard on her as well, and she is still going nowhere except her front steps with their little garden or her back deck. I hope she may venture out more after a booster and after Minnesota's horrific community-spread numbers go down, if they ever actually do.

I started reading new fiction again after a lengthy period of being basically unable to do so. As a result I read Katherine Addison's The Witness for the Dead, decided that it was a little too soon to read The Goblin Emperor again, and accordingly reread The Angel of the Crows and then actually took the heavy hardcovers of The Doctrine of Labyrinths from the shelf, to the great annoyance of my cat, who does not want to be a book rest and resents the space the books take up on what she believes to be her pillow. I've just started The Mirador, possibly my favorite volume of the series, and it's very hard to do anything else but read it, which is not helping any of the projects that require attention.

I'm looking forward to getting my booster so I can feel able to see Eric other than outside again. He's acquired a roommate, which he had intended to do for some time, and I am still very paranoid about COVID because my diabetes will make whatever level of infection I get much worse.

Nobody in my house has gotten sick yet.

Minneapolis politics is really wild right now. I have a lot of opinions but lack the energy to argue about them just at the moment.

I value all of you exceedingly and am glad every time any of you post.

Pamela







[personal profile] thomasyan 2021-10-12 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
exasperating (to me, at any rate) state where I write entries in my head all the time but I never post them.

Oh god, yes. Some entries I mentally compose so often, I get confused about whether I actually did post some variant or not.

profoundly joyous and very welcome development

I have never had the pleasure of meeting them, but rejoice in their transition and joy.

Best wishes for the upstairs furnace, post-B12 assessment, Going North, taxes, and everything else!
minoanmiss: Girl with beads in hair and stars in eyes (Star-Eyed Girl)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2021-10-12 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
*beams at you and at Cameron*
jjhunter: Drawing of human J.J. in red and brown inks with steampunk goggle glasses (red J.J. inked)

[personal profile] jjhunter 2021-10-12 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats to Cameron on her transition, and excellent choice of praenomen (personal name).

I have much the same problem with my bedroom right now - had to move a minor mountain of books off my desk to relocate my WFH space there Friday when my housemate took the day off, and it's amazing how much inertia they've already acquired there while I've been away most of the holiday weekend. ]

Today I went on a day trip out of Boston to a native plant trust <1 hr's drive away ('Garden in the Woods'), and I found a snake napping in a high bush, many glorious painted turtles, a well-disguised frog in the reeds and another keeping guard at the bottom of a tiny turtle's sunning log, a vole, a cricket in the grass, and so very many beautiful plants and trees. My friends and I had a wonderful time.

Hearing from you gladdens my heart. Thank you for reminding me to post more.
thistleingrey: (Default)

[personal profile] thistleingrey 2021-10-12 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Felicitations to Cameron! The hike sightings sound really lovely.
kalmn: (Default)

[personal profile] kalmn 2021-10-12 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
that is a fine name and a fine set of pronouns. hello, cameron!
firecat: baby elephant blowing water out of its trunk with text "JOY" (joy)

[personal profile] firecat 2021-10-12 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats to Cameron!
rachelmanija: (Default)

[personal profile] rachelmanija 2021-10-12 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations to Cameron and to you and to anyone else to whom it's due!
nineweaving: (Default)

[personal profile] nineweaving 2021-10-12 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
Mirthful metonomasy!

(From the Greek μετονομάζειν "to call by a new name." It's hapax legomenon in English, but was used in 1609.)

Wishing joy and dragonflies to Cameron and all who love her.

Nine
bibliofile: Fan & papers in a stack (from my own photo) (Default)

[personal profile] bibliofile 2021-10-12 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
Yay to all the good things.

Boo (as ever) to COVID and pandemic.
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)

[personal profile] oursin 2021-10-12 09:00 am (UTC)(link)
Good to hear from you and of the things that have been happening. Felicitations to Cameron. Best wishes for the furnace (this puts our occasional worries about the aging gas boiler into perspective). Glad that you find yourself able to read new fiction again: on the whole I can read new (or at least, new in the sense of so far unread) fiction provided it's by familiar authors - not about launching into the unknown.
cmcmck: chiara (chiara)

[personal profile] cmcmck 2021-10-12 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds like you have been busying even with ^&*&! covid.

Thank you for sharing your identity- you know mine and that coming out will be fifty years ago next year!

mrissa: (Default)

[personal profile] mrissa 2021-10-12 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats to Cameron!
sdn: (Default)

[personal profile] sdn 2021-10-12 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know what your current best email is, but you have mine, so drop me a note.
Edited 2021-10-12 12:30 (UTC)
mrissa: (Default)

[personal profile] mrissa 2021-10-12 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh also I have a logistics question! If one is referring to past published work, is this the sort of situation where Cameron would like personal name to be distanced from past published work, or the sort of situation where it should be treated like an open pseudonym situation to encourage people to use the right name now?

In the case of another local trans woman where the book cover says a name that is not the name she would want used, but there is no copy of that book available with her right name on it for people to find and read, I asked if the right thing would be to review it as "[hername] writing as [previous pseudonym]" and in her case that was the correct answer, but there is no Universal Trans And Other Renaming Caucus where these things are decided once and for all. So I thought I would ask about Cameron's specific priorities in case of a reread.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2021-10-13 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations to Cameron! A joyous occasion, interspersed with paperwork... :)
thanate: (Default)

[personal profile] thanate 2021-10-13 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations to Cameron, & thank goodness for B12 supplements. (and the number of intended but never written posts is vast here also; glad one of yours made it all the way to the internet.)
islenskr: (Default)

[personal profile] islenskr 2021-10-13 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay for Cameron! That's fantastic!!
Yay for species tulips!
Yay for hiking!
:)


But I so wish I could help you with the furnace, the desk piles, and the yard. Organizing is totally my jam. But I live on the East Coast and am up to my neck in a lot of the same right now. :(
kaffy_r: Keep Calm and Carry on At Length poster (Carry On)

[personal profile] kaffy_r 2021-10-13 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Congratulations to Cameron!

I'd forgotten National Coming Out Day. I'm bisexual, so I'm mentioning it.

As someone trying to clear her desk today, I sympathize with you and your paper bags. Good luck!

I don't hike much, as it's against my Couch Potato beliefs, but you make it sound like an attractive thing to do. *backs off slowly, making the sign of the couch potato, which is shaped vaguely like a lumpen feather cushion*

I'm leaving shortly to get my booster shot. and will also be helping BB schedule his shot with our health provider. I finally got over my "but Third World countries haven't gotten enough doses of anything!" when someone pointed out that depriving myself of a booster wouldn't mean it would go to someone on the other side of the globe.

It's never too soon to reread The Goblin Emperor, says the woman who began rereading it for the *thinks* umpteenth time last night. I also loved Witness for the Dead, which I'll probably reread for the first time very soon. I love that universe, and I love that the second novel explores the world beyond the court. Still, I continue to hope for more word of Maia.

I've finally started to read This Is How You Lose the Time War, which I'm taking in small bites. The language is gorgeous, so I like taking the time to appreciate it.

I have a family member who needs to be nagged about restarting B12 shots. They're taking B12 in pill form but their doctor says they need the shots as well. Plus red meat, so I'm hoping that happens as well.

I, too, am glad to read posts from people who I value!

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