Hanging in there

[pameladean]

I am not having a very good time. As a number of people, most notably Anne Frank, have observed, being reminded or reminding oneself that other people are having a worse time is not really notably comforting. Even the old saw "Could be worse, could be raining" is untrue, since it would be far better if it were in fact raining.

One thing I will say for the present sent of circumstances is that I have realized how much I need a vacation. And I'm going to get one. It's attached to Eric's departure for at least a year, possibly longer, but it will still be a vacation. I'm looking forward to that a lot.

Having read as much of Mary Renault's historical fiction as I can at the moment, I have devolved upon the Anne of Green Gables books. I never saw any of those as a child or young adult; then for some years we had Anne of Avonlea and, I think, Anne's House of Dreams about the place. A few years ago my sister-in-law gave me an Amazon gift certificate as a birthday present, so I got the entire series. They became instant comfort reading, despite my great dubiety about a number of their underlying assumptions.

At the moment I'm reading one of the ones I'm more used to, and so am trying to assimilate comfort and instruction at the same time, wondering what makes these books so appealing and whether I can do it. Probably not, to the second; it's really no use my contemplating these things, I have contemplated them regularly for years and years and it simply does not work for me to take a list of attributes alleged to be successful either for other people or for me, and put them into a book. I am not trying to be all high-falutin here or preserving my lonely artistic integrity or anything of that sort. I acknowledge it as a flaw that I can't do this, but really I can't.

I am trying it again anyway because the prospects of the current project's ever being bought by anybody look exceedingly grim. I don't really want to talk about it more just now.

In other news, there are three or four plants of the volunteer pink phlox, which pleases me tremendously; and I have about a dozen green tomatoes growing assiduously now that the weather pleases them. My Madonna lilies never came back and only one of the three Casablanca lilies did so. This is not a year when I can afford to buy any lilies, but I think, as Minnehaha K. suggested to me, I will move some of the ones in front that are being crowded out by the goldenrod, and put them around back where they can expand.

David and I went down to Northfield last week because a cousin of his was visiting. He hadn't seen her in about 23 years and I had never met her at all. I was very grumpy about meeting strangers (her husband was there too), but it was foolish of me to be so, after all. They were delightful people and we had a lovely time. I did have cause to ponder my utter lack of social skills. Both the cousin and her husband asked us a great many questions, as is indeed reasonable for relatives who have not seen one another in years or met one at all, as the case may be, and we were happy to answer them. But it occurred to me later that we hadn't returned the favor. I don't mind being asked a barrage of questions about my writing methods -- they were quite clueful and didn't make any stupid assumptions. But I am much too shy to ask a similar barrage, even though I think that would probably have been the proper thing to do. I felt I hadn't done my share of the work. David is not shy, but he isn't in the habit of asking a lot of questions, and he didn't acquire it for the occasion.

There was a visiting cat named Lexy who reminded me enormously of Lydy's Lilith.

My mother had David and Lydy and Eric and me over for dinner, in order to see Eric before he left. He was very sleepy, having been awakened by the appalling fire alarm in his apartment building and then having had to get up early for work-related reasons, but he had a good time, and so did the rest of us. It was nice to see my brother again too; I'm not sure how much longer he will be here. He regaled us with the details of the Teapot Dome scandal, among other things.

I'm having a terrible time with the very moderate heat we are having. This summer is nothing compared to last; it's been cool to average. But I have to turn on the air conditioner in my office when the temperature gets above 80, which vexes me when I think of the electric bill.

My cat is crammed onto half of the cushion I put on my desk for him, the other half being inconsiderately occupied by a couple of dirty plates I haven't removed from the room yet. If I move them he will probably leave. There is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.

Pamela

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

I have always thought that the comfort of the Montgomery books is the utter transparency of everyone's motives. They're like the anti-mystery. I agree that the underlying assumptions sometimes stick in the craw, especially true for me with the Pat books, but they're still . . . cozy.

It might also be the comfort of archetypal stories. I tend to think of Anne's progression as the perfect example of a storytelling curve. Most other stories deviate slightly from the bell. Take, for instance, Jack of Kinrowan, which I re-read recently. At the beginning of the book, you deal with relationship angst, and then are wrenched around to deal with weird supernatural stuff, non-optionally. It's a very steep start. Cryptonomicon, on the other hand, burbles pacifically. Interesting things happen, but there is very little arc.

Er, or something.

[pameladean]

Livejournal wouldn't let me post a response last time; let's see if things are less crowded.

I think "the anti-mystery" is a very good way of putting it, and I think that is one of the charms of the Anne books. The other, for me, is the nature writing.

My very favorite Montgomery is The Blue Castle, which also has wonderful nature writing and is a little snarkier. I haven't read Jack of Kinrowan (I assume you are referring to the de Lint book rather than to a book of Montgomery's, but either way I haven't read it, I am sorry to say) nor any Stephenson either; I am so dilatory.

I really like the Emily books better than the Anne books and am permanently fascinated with them; but they contain a few too many genuinely distressing moments. I am not sure they were as distressing to the author as they were to me, but the fact remains. They don't work quite so well as comfort books, anyway.

Pamela

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

My sympathies with regard to the grim and uncomfortable aspects of things. *hug*

[pameladean]

Thank you. Something will change, sooner or later. Just this moment, though, is icky. *hug back*

Pamela

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Sympathies both broad (for the entire situation) and narrow (for the heat). I'm having a miserable-in-my-skin summer, thermoregulatory system-wise, myself, alternately steaming and freezing and generally feeling as if I've borrowed someone else's not-very-comfortable skin.

This part, at least, is bound to pass. Isn't it?

[pameladean]

I know exactly what you mean about alternately boiling and freezing. And it is not such a very comfortable set of symptoms to be having with West Nile about, not to mention Lyme disease.

I think it must pass. I will recite as a mantra that it is a product of hormonal fluctuation, not merely lower steady levels.

Anybody who wants to talk to me about intelligent design can go jump in the lake, however.

Pamela

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Even the old saw "Could be worse, could be raining" is untrue, since it would be far better if it were in fact raining.

My dear friend alendrel has always said "It could be worse; it could be raining molten lead."

[pameladean]

If it were, at least one would be in a science fiction novel!

Pamela

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry things are being rough. I hope they get better.

I agree with you, btw, about the tempting futility of that check-list idea. I can't do it either. I especially can't do it for comfort-reading. I'd love to be able to write books that do what MacCaffrey's Harper Hall books did for me when I was about thirteen, but for me that's completely the wrong way round. I can't start from that end. I can't even say, I will now write a book that does X. Because it won't. Generally, after ten pages or so, it won't do anything at all.

To jump topics, I have the same problem with forgetting to ask questions in return. It always takes a conscious effort--and the conversation has to last long enough that I remind myself to do it. I'm always genuinely interested in what other people have to say; I just never think to ask. (I think I also have a little residual trouble with having been taught that asking too many questions is nosy and impolite.) I often feel like I must come across as the most self-centered person in the universe, when in fact it's just that that piece of the flow-chart in my head is broken.

[pameladean]

Yes, yes, yes, neither can I say that I will write a book that does X. Entirely the wrong way round. Writing theories and teachings and exercises that assume one can do that are one of my many profound irritations. Fie.

And I too feel that I must come off as dreadfully self-centered when it's merely a matter of a broken brain bit. I love the flow-chart metaphor.

Pamela

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I love the phrase "comfort reading" because sometimes it's just what you need. I read the Anne books as a pre-teen, and they bring back that sense of security I had at that time. You know, before all the hormones and angst kick in.

and congratulations on the phlox!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

My security books are books that do amazing things with story and/or language and confirm for me that it's possible to do such amazing things; like The Anubis Gates and The Dragon Waiting and much of Ian McDonald. They don't actually seem to need to be emotionally positive at all; I'm the only person I've ever known who thinks of Use of Weapons as a comfort book.

[coffeeandink.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

My library had the first two or three Anne books when I was a kid; my cousins' library several states away had some of the rest. We visited them for two weeks every summer, and I'd take out the books on a cousin's card. Then when I was sixteen or so, Bantam reprinted them, which I think was the first time I even learned of the existence of Rilla of Ingleside and Rainbow Valley.

I preferred the Emily books, because they had what was to my mind clearly the right ending (Emily becomes a writer and goes off on a European tour) rather than the wrong one (Anne has lots of children and never writes again).

If it is any consolation, Tam Lin has been one of my comfort books ever since my senior year of high school, and I know it is a comfort book for a great many of my friends.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with this, and try not to get all giddy fangirl. In college, it was my comfort reading, (along with LotR) and still brings me back to that time where I felt so free and able to do anything!

[sdn.livejournal.com]

i think of tam lin as a comfort book, too.

you are a wonder. just so you know.

[blackholly.livejournal.com]

Though you don't know me, I feel compelled to jump in with this: I have the opposite problem in social situations--I ask questions, but often become anxious when talking about myself. So, comfort yourself with the knowledge that question-askers often don't want to talk about themselves and can be greatly pleased by listening.

[pameladean]

Oh, that's immensely comforting; thank you.

I don't know you, but I have looked at your journal at time or two, so we are not precisely strangers. 8-)

Pamela

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

((waves shyly)) Not only is Tam Lin my comfort book, I have given copies to other bookish girls in college having a rough time, and it has become the comfort book of three of same.

moi

[(Anonymous)]

Gotta chime in on the Tam Lin comfort chorus; also, The Blue Castle and the Emily books are my favorites of her stuff, too. The Secret Garden and practically anything by Lois McMaster Bujold will serve much the same purpose.

If wishes have any influence, things will get better for you soon, no doubt. Add mine to the heap. :)

--Quill

holiday

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Indeed you do need a vacation. Not every difficulty can be solved by a simple resolve to fly the country but it solves more than it has any right to.

Caroline

Re: holiday

[pameladean]

Yes, I am sure if people knew just how much it would solve they would be running away all over the landscape and the work of society would come to a crashing halt.

I'm not sure that would be such a bad thing.

Pamela

[ionas.livejournal.com]

I hope that the life-curve turns upward for you.

I don't know if you have encountered L.M. Montgomery's journals, but if you haven't, I recommend them. Fascinating reading, for both her alien voice and her startlingly contemporary views, hidden in the journal, particularly with respect to sexuality and falling in love. But they are quite harrowing at times--not for reading when one wants comfort.

My comfort read used to be P.G. Wodehouse, but has been replaced by Patrick O'Brian.

[pameladean]

Oh! Journals! I must find them. Thank you.

I can feel a kind of glut of comfort coming on anyway.

Pamela

[marypcb.livejournal.com]

if you find the Anne books a little too assumptive, have you read the wonderful Emily of New Moon trilogy by the same author? Emily wants to be a writer, struggles with her art and *makes it work*. Comfort and inspiration both

[pameladean]

See upthread for a rather mixed discussion of the Emily books. I don't own them yet and haven't read them so often, and I find parts of them terribly disturbing, but they rank right up there with books about young writers for me.

Pamela

[serendipoz.livejournal.com]

I don't know that I've ever thought of you as unsocial or shy. I read your words each time you speak of that, but it doesn't translate well for me.

Perhaps you require more intimacy in a social relationship than some people (me?) I think you appear well socially, even if you don't feel such.

I'm uncertain this whether this is expected to give you moral (or emotional) support, or just explain something to myself. I hope it works either (both?) ways.

[pameladean]

Either outcome would be quite sufficient to justify the comment, I think!

It occurs to me that you've seen me at Minn-Stf meetings and local conventions, where I am actually about a hundred times more comfortable socially than anywhere else.

Pamela

About <i>Tam Lin</i>

[pameladean]

I just want to say, any kindly comments about any of my books always cheer me right up, and nobody should feel as if it were better not to make them whenever inspired to do so; I do not get so many fangirly remarks that I find them stale or repetitious.

However, Tam Lin is really the heart of the problem. It is the only book of mine that has sold well for Tor, and really the only one that has sold well in an objective sense at all, I think -- The Secret Country sold well for a first novel not much promoted, but that's all. So naturally it would be nice to be able to do it again. But that is completely and utterly impossible no matter how you slice it.

Besides, if somebody else had written my books it's The Dubious Hills that I'd have as my comfort book, so there.

Pamela

Re: About <i>Tam Lin</i>

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

While I love Tam Lin, I have to say it's Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary that's a comfort book for me. I doubt that it would do any good for you to tell that to the publishing powers that be. But now you know.

Comfort books

[oursin.livejournal.com]

I don't find that I ever particularly want to return to the Montgomery books, but for some reason find the works of Victorian 'girls' novelist' Charlotte Yonge just the job as a soothing read, even though I only came to them in adult reading life. When I was in the final stages of writing up my PhD thesis, they were the only thing I could face for recreational reading.

Does anyone know the 'Elsie' books by Martha Finlay? An early C20th British woman writer I love, GB Stern, describes these as her own comfort reading, though not entirely for their soothe factor: it's clear from her description that she also takes what strikes me as a somewhat camp amusement at their peculiar family dynamics. I read the first 3 or 4 (they are still in print, in various abridged and unabridged editions) and could see exactly what she meant (this was supposed to be fit, and indeed religious and moral, reading for children?!) but don't think I am tempted to read the whole long sequence extending over a couple more generations.

Re: Comfort books

[(Anonymous)]

Yonge really *isn't* a girl's novelist, in my opinion -- most of her work is more like Trollope's, though of course with the difference that she takes the religious part seriously (but to my mind, that often makes it the more interesting -- Trollope leaves so much out/takes so much for granted that you never know why anyone should make such a fuss about the Church).

I can't imagine reading Elsie for comfort. Bleeeeeeah. But the Elsie Dinsmore books are really just pale ripoffs of Susan Warner's books, I think -- Susan Warner is just as morbid, but dang, some of her writing is actually *good*. Yonge criticizes Warner's books very acutely and acerbically -- I don't think she would have thought the Elsie books even worth mentioning.

about montgomery

[sdn.livejournal.com]

i have never been able to get past anne's house of dreams -- who cares? stultifying. i also wish someone would smack paul irving (right?) in the face. he gives me diabetes.

actually, from what i can recall, montgomery only wrote the later anne books for the money -- she was really bored with them, and it shows. i know it showed me.

sdn, oddly cranky today

Re: about montgomery

[pameladean]

I like Paul; that is, I like his letters and speeches. Montgomery's authorial descriptions of him, however, still make my jaw drop. Nobody else in the entire series gets the kind of detailed physical description that is devoted to Paul's mouth alone when Anne first sees him in her class.

I liked Anne's House of Dreams just fine, though as usual it has the most tremendously annoying gender assumptions in the weirdest places. As pure plots go, it has one of the more exciting ones.

Pamela

[angeyja.livejournal.com]

I have several flats of lilies coming on from seed right now, primarily Asiatics. I know it's far off but I'd be happy to send you some in the Spring... too late in the year now and they're too young for sending. Assuming I can keep them growing through the winter, of course.

[pameladean]

That's incredibly sweet of you. Get back to me nearer the time, if you have enough to spare, and I can determine if I am likely to have enough gardening energy to treat them properly.

Pamela

Shyness, questions, conversation

[oursin.livejournal.com]

As this whole thing about not knowing the questions to ask is one of my problems as well, this has made me think a lot. Is it actually shyness, or is it a related thing which is not quite the same?

I realise I have a great deal of unease about a conversational convention which is based on asking people questions (this can be delightful if it's well done, but can feel like an interrogation if it's not).

And if I don't know people well enough to know in what areas I should be asking questions, I have no idea where to begin. (This may be why I - normally - quite enjoy academic conferences, since it's usually possible to begin by asking 'So, what are you working one?', which beats the weather and other standard starters.)

Re: Shyness, questions, conversation

[pameladean]

I sometimes make a distinction between shyness and reserve; the second would make one less pleased about a barrage of questions, in either direction.

It is certainly good to have some sort of context for social interaction. Like a lot of shy people, I also can't stand small talk, though I have become Minnesotan enough to adore talking about the weather.

Pamela

I love the Montgomery books

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

am trying to get my girls to read them; no success so far. Someday.

I think angiej either did her masters on Montgomery, or is thinking about doing her doctorate on her; can't remember which.

Re: I love the Montgomery books

[pameladean]

Because the setting and general literary approach are both so unfamiliar, I can see their needing to be a bit older before they really want to try the books.

Pamela

[papersky.livejournal.com]

The Secret Country books are comfort books for me, and for Zorinth as well, as note that both of us were reading them when he hurt his knee.

I hope this helps somewhat, but JGR is far too edgy to be a comfort book for me ever.