I fail Colonscopy Prep 101

[pameladean]

It appears that every three years I have to go to the ER. David says, "For your checkup!"

So the GI Clinic gave me eight liters' worth of the unflavored electrolyte solution and told me to drink six of them, one eight-ounce glass every ten minutes, "unless you feel that you're going to puke if you drink any more; then it's okay to wait longer". This worked for about five glassfuls, after which the intervals grew and grew until I'd taken about eight hours to drink three liters and would, at that rate, pass the deadline for drinking anything at all well before it was all where it should be. I was way behind on ingesting such meager nutrients as were allowed me, as well. I called the GI nurse on call and explained the situation, and she asked some questions and opined that I had probably had enough (well, I certainly had) and should just come in in the morning and let them decide if the proceduce could be done. I went to bed and woke up 45 minutes later shaking all over and with a very fast heartbeat, the kind that makes you think that, if you feel like this, you must have been running away from something Very Unpleasant that will Get You Any Minute.

I called the long-suffering GI nurse on call, and she said it was probably blood sugar and I should have some juice, even though it was after the deadline. They might be able to do the procedure anyway, I should still come in. I drank the juice, and some more juice. Raphael was still up and was extremely kind and supportive. After consultation with R and the internet, I pretty much bagged the procedure and had some seafood broth that I'd rejected for prep purposes as being not clear enough, and some toast. This calmed things down. I went to sleep. I woke up at four a.m. with the same problem. I hate going to the ER, but the GI nurse had mentioned the possibility, and it seemed time. I went in a taxi and hit a quiet time.

They did all sorts of tests, just to be safe. That's the checkup part. There was nothing wrong with me except dehydration, which three bags of IV fluid did not entirely fix, but they sent me off since all the tests and labs showed pristine health, and I'm fine now. Except for feeling like a failure in the endurance division. In addition to Raphael's hanging out with me and doing research for me, David collected me when I was finally sprung from durance vile, and took me to have fish tacos; and Eric called twice on prep day and has called once today. I am very fortunate in my sweeties.

Everybody I talked to in the ER was very insistent that I reschedule the colonscopy. But that solution Will Not Pass My Lips Again, so I hope they have an alternative.

As iatrogenic emergencies go, it could certainly have been worse. I do worry that it has induced a Permanent Tendency to Capitalize Important Concepts, however.

P.

Comments

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Sympathy, believe me. I had to drink the huge quantities, and it was an ordeal, though not as bad as yours. The "procedure" (as they always call it) itself was a snap compared to that. They really, really need to find an alternative.

[pameladean]

All they need really is something that can see through shit -- why, it would be valuable in so many fields of endeavor!

I'm glad you got through yours all right. Thanks.

P.