I loathe and abominate the designers of women's clothing

[pameladean]

I had planned to return to LJ with something more impressive, but that trick never works. Anyway, Emily said I should post something ridiculous to make up for thinking I should post something meaningful.

This is not about any of the actually important things you might think it is about.

It's about pockets. Samuel Delany was surprised by this aspect of women's clothing, though no woman would have been, in the 1960's, but while things have improved, they are not right to this day. I have completely stopped buying pants that do not have at least four pockets. I will not at this time regale you with the incredibly stupid array of useless arrangements that go by the name of "women's cargo pants." I ended up, at David's suggestion, getting men's cargo pants and having them hemmed to my very short inseam length. In any case, I do not buy pants without pockets. But this does not mean that the pockets are adequate. I have a really nice pair of caramel-colored jeans with capacious side pockets -- really nice! Keys and cellphone do not poke me in the hip bone when I sit down! But their back pockets are tiny. My wallet falls out periodically on the floors of public restrooms and at home, too, though the latter is much less distressing. So I don't wear these pants if I plan to use a public restroom, and though I got them originally for hiking -- the color shows ticks and does not show mud -- I don't use them for that either, the floors of state-park vault toilets being sometimes in a condition you don't want to have to pick anything up from.

I hate shopping for clothes and mostly do it online, where they do not tell you the dimensions of the pockets; otherwise I would not have these pants. However, they were cheap and I was seduced by the color and the comfort of them. Regardless of my weight, my waist-to-hip ratio is not standard and most pants don't fit me properly. These do.

It's not worth it, though. I put these pants on this morning because I wasn't planning to leave the house. I just needed to clean for the Minn-Stf meeting. I decided not to even put the wallet in a back pocket and thus save myself the retrieving of it from bathroom floors. Then I discovered that the wringing mechanism on the ten-year-old string mop had broken. I rushed off to the hardware store to get either a new mop or a new mop head, only to recall just in time that I had no wallet in my inadequate pocket.

I came home and sulked. I am going to clean something else. Do not attempt to eat off of the floor tomorrow, if you are coming to the meeting. Whether it has been mopped will depend on how mad I am in what direction.

Pamela

Comments

[thinkum]

I often think that people such as ourselves could make a fortune if we went into the clothing design business. :-P

[guppiecat]

FYI, you can mop fairly well with two kittens and a laser pointer.

[halfmoon-mollie.livejournal.com]

or, put on a pair of thick old socks (old thick socks?) and skate. That works. Just be careful not to drop your wallet.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

i've noticed that the clothes i got in iceland had amazing pockets. might have something to do with a lesbian president ;)

[lblanchard.livejournal.com]

The Danskin yoga pants I buy at the Wal*Mart have two incredibly deep pockets that accommodate my oversize smartphone and my wallet-like thingie (which also has a necklace-like strap so it can be worn around the neck). Roaman's makes a moleskin bigshirt that has covered pockets deep enough to hold my keys, my chapstick, and my facial tissues. Thus fortified I can take on the galaxy. I don't enwallet my pants unless I'm actually going out the door, although I do carry my cellphone. At home I often wear an apron with two Very Deep Pockets just so that I will have two Very Deep Pockets.

I have a Lands End parka with seven pockets including an inside breast pocket. It makes winter easier to bear. Of course, it's a man's parka but who cares...

I loathe and abominate shopping with a loathing that will easily match yours.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

I have failed thus far to find good, light-colored cargo pants -- I mean pants where the fabric is a good, solid weight and the pockets can actually hold stuff. If anybody has recommendations, please share them.

[naomikritzer]

Cabela's. See links below.

[vgqn.livejournal.com]

Sympathies! I nearly always buy men's pants too because my waist to hip ratio is not standard, so with typical women's pants, they either fit in the hips but the waist is too tight, or they fit in the waist but the hips are too big. Although if I can find pants with elastic in the back, that helps a lot. I did see some pants somewhere (surprisingly, I think it was at Target) where they actually offered different hip/waist fits instead of assuming a 'standard' female body. Probably inadequate pockets, though, knowing Target.

Fwiw, Mike has issues with the size of some cargo pants pockets as well. But you're right, women's are worse.

Have you considered carrying your wallet in a front pocket? I've read a number of sources that recommend against putting it in a back pocket because you're less likely to lose it (whether accidentally or pickpocketing) if it's in the front and because sitting on a wallet misaligns your spine. I know many men who have switched to a front pocket for those reasons.

[aedifica]

I really like the jeans that Lane Bryant used to sell. They have three different waist-hip ratios available *and* my wallet doesn't fall out of my back pocket. (They still do sell jeans with three different waist-hip ratios, which is very cool, but the ones I bought more recently are a cut I like less and are made of inferior fabric. Luckily, I can still find the older style on eBay--I've restocked from there at least twice.)

[gwyneira.livejournal.com]

Oh my, I hear you. I have a lovely pair of cute and comfortable black jeans which have one flaw: no front pockets. Not only do they have no front pockets, they have *fake* front pockets. I mean, really? It wouldn't have been just as easy to put in *actual* front pockets? *sigh*

[erikagillian.livejournal.com]

Was trying to find a pair of jeans, just a pair of jeans! In plus size at Target... So the only ones that were even close to being jeans and really weren't, but I could have lived with them... until I tried to put my hands in the front pockets! *fake* pockets? Why?

[naomikritzer]

For women's cargo pants with enormous pockets and substantial fabric, look at Cabela's. High-waist version, low-waist version. If those links don't work properly, it's the "seven-pocket pants" you want.

Their trailhiker pants also have capacious pockets, but the 7-pocket pants have pockets so big you can carry a mass-market paperback book in your pocket.

[naomikritzer]

If you look at the pictures of the seven-pocket pants, they don't do a good job of showcasing the pockets. You can see two patch-style pockets; those are actually ON TOP of the enormous, side-style pockets. If you zoom in you can get a better look -- you'll see the side slit where you put your hands in and the seam going around an enormous rectangular area is in fact the outline of the pockets.

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

I'm always getting the fake-out pockets. "Oh, look, these pants have front pockets! And they're...only half the length of my fingers deep." 'Cause there are so many times when you need to carry one Kleenex.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

One Kleenex on one side and a dime on the other. Yes.

My best-aunt is an amazing, lovely person, but I had to talk her into pocket equality applying for everyone. She is a large woman and was taking the position that because I am not, I should not ruin the line of clothes by putting things in my pockets, whereas for her it didn't matter. There were so many things wrong with that I barely knew where to start, but since she is the best aunt and not merely a great aunt, starting with mock-banging my head against the table worked admirably.

[lcohen]

oh god, yes! and fake pockets are the worst. (i just found a pair that i own that turn out to have fake back pockets--why dear lord, why?)

[maiac.livejournal.com]

I've been buying Lee Rider chinos for years, because they're suitable for work and they actually fit. The last time I bought them, however, I discovered that the pockets are about half the size they used to be. I suspect that 3 or 4 inches per pocket represents millions of dollars used for the CEO's bonus instead of for purchasing fabric. Curse them.

[mle292.livejournal.com]

I suspect that you're right. Though I would cheerfully pay another penny per pair of pants so that I can have that luxurious four inches of pocket.

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

My Lee jeans, from their website, have nice pockets all 'round, however. Now, if only they had them in corduroy. And a cargo-style option. In an at-the-waist rise and a long inseam.

I don't ask for much. *g*

[maiac.livejournal.com]

I have, in part, the opposite problem. Most "petite" sizes are still too long for me. Lee Rider pants, at least, are available in petite and I don't need to hem them.

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

I currently use a manbag and two belt pouches instead of pockets.

[apostle-of-eris.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid, I never understood why boys only had pockets and girls only had purses.

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

I gave up years ago... I am tall, with no waist to speak of .. even when I was skinny... and lets talk about shirts, as your bust size increases, your sleeves get shorter..

[karenkay.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I stopped carrying a wallet several years ago, when I noticed that I hardly ever use money. (I put it in my bag and take it to work, and when I travel, it goes in my purse.) I put cards--license, insurance, debit, and one credit card--in my pocket. I don't carry my phone in my pocket.

[graydon saunders (from livejournal.com)]

It is possible you might find http://www.makeyourownjeans.com/ of use.

(The name is untrue; what they mean is that if you send them money, a detailed set of measurements, and select a style and a fabric, they will send you pants. It's a dis-intermediation attempt by an Indian concern, and they have a bewildering array of fabrics and styles.)

[firecat]

I'm a nonstandard shape and I've been buying custom-size pants for years, the side benefit of which is that I can get pockets when I want them.