I am a mighty --
Mar. 2nd, 2003 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pameladean-- doer of very simple things, really.
I finally fixed the upstairs toilet. This was not actually a matter of plumbing. The plastic arm that connects the flush handle to the itty sleeve that pulls the stopper up so the tank can drain broke off a few weeks ago. It took me forever to even get the parts, since I lose my nouns when talking to hardware-store employees and anyway whenever I go to the hardware store I am impelled to buy all their gardening stuff. Then I had to brood over the parts for a while.
I suspected the instructions a lot. Project time, 15 minutes, the package said. Yeah, right, like I would ever believe that. And the first instruction -- "Remove nut from old lever." Like that couldn't take about twelve hours all by itself. I was also unnerved by the remark that the new nut was reverse threaded. Did that say anything about the old one? But oh my God, if you tighten the new nut too much you'll crack the toilet tank! It says so RIGHT ON THE PACKAGE, AND IN SPANISH TOO! So what if I tried to remove the old one and did that? Aieeee. We will draw a veil over the part where I actually wept on Raphael about how awful it was to grow up female in the fifties and how I hated the physical universe and why didn't instructions TELL YOU ANYTHING? What the hell tool do you use on a nylon nut? Raphael lent me a wrench and calmly and patiently explained that nobody could do this kind of thing by instinct and you just had to fiddle around with stuff and look at it, and it would be very hard to crack a toilet tank that way. (People with iffy backs shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff, since it is impossible, in the confines of the bathroom, to do it in any remotely ergonomic way; otherwise I wouldn't have had to try it.)
I have a lot of choice remarks about the design of toilet tanks generally, but in fact, the job took about fifteen minutes, and that only because I had to saw the end off the new lever. ("Do you know what a hacksaw looks like?" I demanded of my hapless sweetie, and zie did, too. As I had suspected, we have about five of them in the basement. And yes, David could have advised me, but I let him get away to go run errands, and I just wanted the stupid job done with.)
Oh yeah -- the old nut was not reverse-threaded, and that was a good choice, because of the curve of the tank, which, in combination with handedness and the location of the toilet, makes getting the wrench in at a good angle for a reverse-threaded nut practically impossible. So the new nut is finger-tightened. Neener. Take that, vile packaging!
I still resent the hell out of a whole bunch of things, but it's nice that the toilet works.
Pamela
I finally fixed the upstairs toilet. This was not actually a matter of plumbing. The plastic arm that connects the flush handle to the itty sleeve that pulls the stopper up so the tank can drain broke off a few weeks ago. It took me forever to even get the parts, since I lose my nouns when talking to hardware-store employees and anyway whenever I go to the hardware store I am impelled to buy all their gardening stuff. Then I had to brood over the parts for a while.
I suspected the instructions a lot. Project time, 15 minutes, the package said. Yeah, right, like I would ever believe that. And the first instruction -- "Remove nut from old lever." Like that couldn't take about twelve hours all by itself. I was also unnerved by the remark that the new nut was reverse threaded. Did that say anything about the old one? But oh my God, if you tighten the new nut too much you'll crack the toilet tank! It says so RIGHT ON THE PACKAGE, AND IN SPANISH TOO! So what if I tried to remove the old one and did that? Aieeee. We will draw a veil over the part where I actually wept on Raphael about how awful it was to grow up female in the fifties and how I hated the physical universe and why didn't instructions TELL YOU ANYTHING? What the hell tool do you use on a nylon nut? Raphael lent me a wrench and calmly and patiently explained that nobody could do this kind of thing by instinct and you just had to fiddle around with stuff and look at it, and it would be very hard to crack a toilet tank that way. (People with iffy backs shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff, since it is impossible, in the confines of the bathroom, to do it in any remotely ergonomic way; otherwise I wouldn't have had to try it.)
I have a lot of choice remarks about the design of toilet tanks generally, but in fact, the job took about fifteen minutes, and that only because I had to saw the end off the new lever. ("Do you know what a hacksaw looks like?" I demanded of my hapless sweetie, and zie did, too. As I had suspected, we have about five of them in the basement. And yes, David could have advised me, but I let him get away to go run errands, and I just wanted the stupid job done with.)
Oh yeah -- the old nut was not reverse-threaded, and that was a good choice, because of the curve of the tank, which, in combination with handedness and the location of the toilet, makes getting the wrench in at a good angle for a reverse-threaded nut practically impossible. So the new nut is finger-tightened. Neener. Take that, vile packaging!
I still resent the hell out of a whole bunch of things, but it's nice that the toilet works.
Pamela
no subject
Date: 2003-03-03 01:06 pm (UTC)I hope somebody laughed a little bit. I was giggling madly while writing the thing.
Pamela
no subject
Date: 2003-03-03 07:47 pm (UTC)It's a parable for the modern age, the Triumph of Mind over Matter, or something like that. You wanna come over and take a look at my sink?