Tempeh Fugit

[pameladean]

First, in reference to my previous post, the pies tasted fantastic and the crust was quite good, if lumpy and patched. I have at least learned to use a very very light hand when repairing the deficiencies of my crusts.

And now, the sequel to the Great Pie-Licking Episode.

Yesterday evening, I made tempeh mushroom stroganoff for Cameron and me. I do feed David too, especially when Lydy is away, if I'm making something he'd like. But he wouldn't like this, and he still had leftover turkey yesterday.

I hadn't been able to find commercial vegan sour cream, so fairly early in the process I made some in the miniature food processor. Then I got an 8-oz block of tempeh out of the freezer and thawed it in the microwave. Sometime during 2020 somebody started up a local business that makes tempeh, calling the product Tempeh Tantrum, which alone would have recommended it to me. In fact it is quite good, very plain tempeh: no grains or seasonings, just soybeans, water, and the tempeh culture.

After thawing the tempeh, I cut the block into quarters so that it would fit in the saucepan, and steamed it for 20 minutes. I put the four pieces on a plate to cool. At this point I actually looked at the recipe, which I had not made for some time, and saw that it didn't take long at all, and dinner would be ready much too early if I went on. I washed and cut up a pound of broccoli to roast and put the tofu sour cream in the fridge. The tempeh was still fairly hot, and in any case I have an only partly conscious attitude of "But it's spoiled already" about tempeh. So I left the plate on the stove.

The cats were schooling around reminding me that they were starving, and it was in fact time for wet food, so I gave it to them and sat in the room while they ate it: this is necessary because Cassie will steal Saffron's food from under her nose, and Saffron, for reasons known only to her otherwise very stroppy self, will let Cassie do it. Cassie did not do it this time. We have a routine, wherein she finishes her own food and walks towards Saffron, who is eating at her own leisurely pace on an armchair, to keep Cassie a little more at, well, paw's reach. I always say, "I see you, Cass. I see the Cass." Then she sits down and washes her whiskers, keeping a very close eye on Saffron.

So Saffron got all her food and washed her own whiskers. Cass came over and sat on the couch with me. Saffron ambled into the kitchen. After a few minutes of dead silence, Cassie bolted off the sofa and ran as fast as her short little legs would go into the kitchen, and thence out the other door. Something extremely interesting had just happened with food.

I ran into the kitchen. The pan of broccoli looked untouched. On the tempeh plate, there were three pieces remaining.

Exclaiming loudly, I bolted into my bedroom after Cass, who had just disappeared under the bed. I flung myself on my stomach onto the floor and peered under, after a moment employing the flashlight function of my cellphone. Saffron and Cassie were gnawing bites off the fourth piece of steamed tempeh. Tempeh crumbs were scattered all over the floor between them. I reached my arm under to grab the piece of tempeh, and Saffron snatched it up in her mouth, moved a few feet away, and dropped it again. I leapt up, got the broom, and dragged the gnawed tempeh out from under the bed. Saffron and Cassie erupted after me, but I already had the tempeh in my hand. They followed me into the kitchen, also exclaiming loudly.

I fished the tempeh wrapper out of the trash and ascertained that it was, indeed, very plain tempeh. And it was cooked. They would probably be fine, but I had no idea why the tempeh had elicited behavior that would have been completely understandable if it were cheese or fish. I would never leave either of those desirable foodstuffs alone in the kitchen, but tempeh and tofu have never been bothered before.

I walked into Cameron's office with the gnawed piece of tempeh in my hand. They had eaten less than a quarter of it, less even than that if you counted all the crumbs. "My goodness!" Cameron said. "Is tempeh bad for cats?"

"I have no idea."

Cam was looking it up as I took the tempeh back to the kitchen and put it into the organics recycling. I contemplated the remaining tempeh. I now had the wrong amount for the recipe. Also, Saffron had had plenty of time before jumping down with her chosen piece to do any kind of investigation she liked of the other ones. I sighed and put them in the recycling as well. At least the tempeh had been on sale and we'd only lost about three dollars.

Cameron came into the kitchen and said, "Just tell me, was there any garlic or onion in the tempeh?"

"Nope, just plain tempeh. And already steamed."

We agreed that the cats would probably be fine but we would keep an eye on them.

I got the next block of tempeh out of the freezer and put it in the microwave to thaw. Dinner was about twenty minutes late. I remarked at intervals to Cameron, "Well, nobody has barfed yet."

Nobody ever did, nor exhibited any other signs of digestive distress.

Eventually I swept the tempeh crumbs out from under the bed. Apparently they were not actually very tasty once the excitement of the chase was over.

The stroganoff was very tasty, and Saffron bore me no ill will for stealing her prey. I can only be grateful that I put the vegan sour cream in the refrigerator. It's clear that nothing is safe from Saffron any more.

Pamela

Comments

[sovay]

Saffron and Cassie were gnawing bites off the fourth piece of steamed tempeh.

Wow.

Autolycus will investigate any human food at all, from plantains to cheese grits to slices of liverwurst, but he has never made a triumphant escape with tofu.

(I like tempeh very much, but I would at least ask first.)

[vass]

I love tempeh, but I can't imagine cats would usually. I think my Dorian may have already mimed kicking cat litter over it on at least one occasion.

[cmcmck]

It's food, they're cats.......... :O)

[martianmooncrab]

they do have some peculiar eating habits...

[asakiyume]

On the contrary, maybe tempeh is cats' secret fave!

Tempeh and broccoli takes me back to my undergraduate days. I lived in a co-op, and it was vegetarian, and one of my favorite, easy meals to cook when I signed up for cooking duty was tempeh and broccoli, flavored with soy sauce and ginger.

[graydon]

Yay, pies!

It sounds dreadfully as though the mischief has got into Saffron, but hopefully it was no more than the predator neuron deciding that warm food must be freshly killed and therefore desirable.

These are very entertaining posts, all the same.

[replyhazy]

CATS!

[sartorias]

Cat brains.

[rushthatspeaks]

Huh. My best guess is it's protein? In a fairly pure form? Still, quite unexpected and confusing. I know cats are attracted to fat in whatever form, but tempeh doesn't have much of that. My Lucien, of beloved memory, used to kill and eat avocados, peel and all. Never seemed to hurt him, but we tried to stop it anyway on the grounds that avocado peel could not be a good idea for his digestion. Avocado is very fatty, so that was the explanation there. Many cats love cantaloupe, and I don't know the explanation for that one. But tempeh. That's a new one in my experience. Wow.

[minoanmiss]

Oh my lady Bast, these cats!

(Also I need to try tempeh again after having read this. :Last time I took it from the package straight to a frying pan. I didn't realize it needs steaming first.)

[thomasyan]

That's a great story. I'm glad that other than some excess excitement, everyone is okay.

Aside: I personally am not a fan of natto (a type of fermented soy), but maybe you could learn to like it? Many fermented foods supposedly have probiotic benefits. The mention of stroganoff, which I like and in my experience has a fairly strong flavor, made me think that if interested, you could try starting off by mixing in a tiny bit before eating, and gradually add more, and see if you come to like it.

I had a friend who didn't like it himself, and neither did his wife, but his sons did, so he'd make them natto omelets for breakfast.

[islenskr]

Holy cow! (or...uh...cat!)
On the other hand, I had a cat once who couldn't get enough of acorn squash. At one time, I was regularly taking my dinner plate to eat on the couch in the living room while chatting online (in the days before the web and telnet got me to MUSHes and MUDs). I would plop the plate in my lap and the keyboard on my knees. My cat would sneak very slowly over to my plate and pretend very intently that I did not see her, even though I'd say "no, not for you" many times. And she'd eat my squash. I finally gave up and gave her her own squash whenever I cooked it (no butter or sugar, just plain).

My current cat won't eat human food at all. Just the wet stuff out of a can.

Cats are weird. Your cats are right up there with very weird! :)

[kore]

Cassie did not do it this time. We have a routine, wherein she finishes her own food and walks towards Saffron, who is eating at her own leisurely pace on an armchair, to keep Cassie a little more at, well, paw's reach. I always say, "I see you, Cass. I see the Cass." Then she sits down and washes her whiskers, keeping a very close eye on Saffron.

Aww that's adorable.

So Saffron got all her food and washed her own whiskers. Cass came over and sat on the couch with me. Saffron ambled into the kitchen. After a few minutes of dead silence, Cassie bolted off the sofa and ran as fast as her short little legs would go into the kitchen, and thence out the other door. Something extremely interesting had just happened with food.

OH MY GOD. Naughty kitties! I don't think I have ever heard of cats going after tempeh that way, wow.

[centuryplant]

I always say, 'I see you, Cass. I see the Cass.' Then she sits down and washes her whiskers, keeping a very close eye on Saffron.

I didn't realize you'd changed it! I still use your original version—"Cassia Cassandra Cassiopeia, I SEE you."

[pameladean]

I had not thought Saffron would outdo Autolycus in this matter. Though he still holds the crown for number of episodes.

You are welcome to tempeh that I cook, though the logistics will be difficult.

How do you like to cook it? Or are you, like me for many years, more likely to get it from a restaurant? I like it a lot, but I don't feel I've found any really satisfactory recipes.

P.

[pameladean]

That is the response I would expect a cat to have to tempeh.

Do you cook tempeh? Do you have recipes you like? I make many things we eat with relish, but none of them really seems the right thing to do with tempeh.

P.

[pameladean]

They are cats living with mostly-vegetarian, mostly-vegan people who occasionally bring in goat or sheep cheese or fish. A lot of what we have around has previously been Not Food to Saffron. I guess that is going to change.

P.

[pameladean]

Cats in general, also ours, yes indeed.

P.

[pameladean]

Soy sauce and ginger are lovely with tempeh. We had the broccoli on the side, but I admit to mixing it up with the stroganoff when I had leftovers.

P.

[pameladean]

I hope you are right about the predator neuron.

Saffron is exceedingly willing to let in the mischief, but it has not manifested in quite this way before.

I'm glad you are entertained! I am too, except about the pie crust because it is so much work. I was very entertained by the tempeh incident once I'd gotten it away from them and decided they wouldn't come to harm by it.

P.

[pameladean]

Yeah, what are you gonna do?

P.

[pameladean]

Pretty weird, you bet. P.

[pameladean]

My cat Sukey used to fish corn cobs out of the garbage and eat any remaining fragments of corn. I'm used to some vegetable and fruit interests. But I still think unseasoned tempeh is a weird taste to develop. If it were fried, yes, as you say, that would not be surprising.

I think avocados are considered by the ASPCA to be unhealthy for cats, but I can sure see the appeal, and I am very much entertained at the killing and eating part. (The presence of some things on the ASPCA list just means "will probably cause vomiting, which most cat owners prefer to avoid.")

Saffron steals small potatoes, but not to eat, just to knock around. Unfortunately they can roll under furniture and start to go bad, which makes the worst smell, yikes. So we hide them from her.

P.

[pameladean]

That is a great exclamation and I will borrow it.

Steaming the tempeh isn't necessary for safety if it's been pasteurized already; but it does seem to take down the level of bitterness, and may make the tempeh better at absorbing marinade and thus additional flavor.

P.

[pameladean]

Thank you, I am glad too.

My problem with natto is the texture. I just can't stand it. The smell is really interesting, but I don't like slime. It's too bad.

P.

[pameladean]

Giving the cat her own squash is so sensible!

Pumpkin or winter squash are recommended for cats with constipation. Mostly vets will suggest pumpkin because it's so sweet, and apparently they like that. Some of them, anyway. You always get the odd one who gives you That Look, the That is NOT Food look.

I cannot deny the Very Weirdness of our cats. I am afraid that we may select for that.

P.

[pameladean]

Cass is totally adorable. And if I don't make her certain that I do see her, she will eat all of Saffron's food in a heartbeat.

Nobody commenting has heard of cats going after tempeh. We are so lucky!

P.

[pameladean]

I still use that when she ignores me the first time. I had to use it initially because she did ignore me, but she learned that I would come prevent her from stealing the food after saying it, so she started pretending she was just finding a good place to wash her whiskers, GEEZE.

P.

[thomasyan]

Ah, too bad. I was hoping mixing it into a sauce (like stroganoff or curry) would hide the slime.

My first encounter with natto was self-inflicted. I was in Japan with my family, and my brother and I had gone off to dinner on our own. There were pictures on the menu, and I thought the one with a bowl of interesting-looking grain might be fun to try. I'd heard of natto before (a friend said his favorite restaurant had it, but would make sure you knew what you were getting if you ordered it), so my heart sank when it was served. I mixed it with my rice, added a bunch of soy sauce, and maybe some wasabi, and managed to eat it all. Bleah.

I now wish I had asked my friend to let me sample part of a natto omelet. Maybe I would have found it palatable in that dish. Alas, he's the one who died recently.

[carbonel]

My first cat, Emily, loved cantaloupe. I hadn't realized it was a common thing in cats; I just thought it was one of her peculiarities.

[carbonel]

I am now imagining a dish with both natto and okra. For someone else to eat, that is.

[carbonel]

Cats! I'm not sure whether it's nice or worrisome that the two of them were entirely in agreement in the conspiracy, even if Saffron was the instigator.

I continue to feel very lucky that Morwen almost never goes after human food on the counter. She did once lick butter from the dish that lives atop the flour canister, but I haven't seen evidence of that since. And she doesn't bother me at all when I'm cooking dinner. (She does when I'm making breakfast, but morning is when she gets treats, so that's entirely understandable, and once she gets them, she's too occupied.)

And she doesn't like smoked salmon in any form. I keep remembering the bit in *The Art of Eating* (I think) about the bad salmon, but this is all smoked salmon I've offered, plus the nice oily lox package after it was empty, which would have had Gandalf and Pyewacket in raptures.

[rushthatspeaks]

I've actually seen it on lists of suggested homemade cat treats! Though they shouldn't have the seeds.

Cats are also supposed to have a species-wide aversion to lemon, but every cat I've ever had has liked it, so I don't believe that one at all.

[sovay]

I had not thought Saffron would outdo Autolycus in this matter. Though he still holds the crown for number of episodes.

He made a serious move on some fried clams this evening.

How do you like to cook it? Or are you, like me for many years, more likely to get it from a restaurant? I like it a lot, but I don't feel I've found any really satisfactory recipes.

I am much more likely to get it from restaurants, although I believe rushthatspeaks and I cooked with it once when we were working our way through Andrea Nguyen's Asian Dumplings (2009). The limitations of the last two years on the restaurants I can get to have in fact significantly deprived me of tempeh and I miss it, so I understand where Saffron is coming from.

[sovay]

Many cats love cantaloupe, and I don't know the explanation for that one.

I don't, either, but Tzythy of my childhood once famously launched herself onto the table where slices were set out on plates for breakfast, sank her teeth into one in passing, and carried it away with her onto the floor in the same movement, which was extremely impressive and in my memory looks sort of like Hong Kong wire fu, but I think was really just Cat. (She was also known to sneak up on unattended melons and leave tiny spiky teethmarks in them.)

[athenais]

Tempeh? how bizarre that they wanted it! Great story, especially since they did not suffer from ill effects.

[vass]

I don't really have recipes so much as ways of using it. Mainly pastas or noodles or stir-fries. My favourite is just sauteeing it until it's golden then tossing it in a bit of soy sauce and sesame oil.

[ethelmay]

My daughter once dogsat for a dog who ate half a roll of toilet paper. A vet friend recommended canned pumpkin to clear things out. I guess it worked.

[lcohen]

leaving you a quick happy birthday! may your adventures be many but mild! love, lisa

[pameladean]

Oh, I'm sorry about your friend.

It's funny about the slime. I like okra, for example; but each kind of food slime is apparently different.

P.

[pameladean]

Ugh. I like okra, but it provides plenty of slipperiness on its own. Blargh.

P.

[pameladean]

I have to say that whatever cats may do, dogs beat them hollow in the eating the wrong thing category. We once looked after a dog who ate an entire dish towel. The Joy of Cooking suggests soaking a tea towel in melted shortening and laying it over the breast of a roasting turkey to keep it moist. I guess this worked all right, but it's really a mercy in one way that the dog ate the dish towel, because the thought of getting it clean again is very argh.

The dog had done similar things before, and her people just said, "It will pass through." It did. But GEEZE.

(St. Bernard.)

P.