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[personal profile] pameladean
I was sixteen in 1969. In the back yard, our jungle gym, as it was called then, a structure of tubular metal for kids to climb on, was in the shape of a rocket ship. It was painted red, white, and blue. There were three seats at three different levels. These caused certain conflicts while there were three kids and a lot more when there were four of us.

I used to go out after dark, when our house was the last one in the subdivision and the streets and houses to come were just slabs of concrete that did not obscure the sky nor cast any light, and look up at the stars until I felt I had left my body and was floating around out there. I wanted to go out there more than I wanted anything else in the world.

We all stayed up late and watched the moon landing on the black-and-white TV, puzzling the dog mightily. We watched on CBS, because Walter Cronkite, in my mother's opinion, was the only newscaster who was properly excited about the situation. My father wanted Huntley and Brinkley, but we didn't watch them that night.

I couldn't sleep afterwards. Going to the stars was suddenly real, and I knew I wouldn't do it. I had read too much Heinlein to think I would get there. I was the clumsy, careless, stupid person who endangered everybody by acting as if they were still back on earth. Having seen the tiny capsule, the puffy awkward suits, having heard the quality of the radio transmissions, having seen the immense blackness of the unfiltered sky, I knew I wasn't going there.

It was still a very happy night, because I knew that somebody else was.

Pamela

Edited to correct a very elementary mathematical error. See, Heinlein was right.

Date: 2009-07-20 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inlaterdays.livejournal.com
This is lovely. I especially love the bit about reading too much Heinlein; I can relate.

I was 8 in 1969 and my father woke us up to watch the moon landing. My parents have a photo of my brother, sister, and I in feetie pajamas watching it on a black and white tv.

Date: 2009-07-20 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brotherguy.livejournal.com
I have read a lot of great "where I was" posts, but yours is the first to bring back the whole... taste... of what it was like to be a kid at the dawn of the space age. Thanks.

(I am reminded of a golden age short story; I thought the title was "The Dream is Not for Dreamers" but Google can't find it under that name.)

Going into space

Date: 2009-07-20 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] markiv1111.livejournal.com
I remember a sudden realization, to my amazement, while talking to my brother, that if and when they picked 600 people to go on the first trip to Alpha Centauri, they would want people more like him and less like me. (Jeremy is a sea captain on the Gulf of Alaska, and a very practical, "build things and fix things" kind of guy, in a way that I never will be.) He said that he would go in an instant. I think I was just built to read about things like this, not to do them. (The same thing applies to horses. I had a riding instructor tell me once that she felt I was a natural horseman, but I think I want to read about horses, fact and fiction, more than I would even want to do something public like watch a race.) By the way, can you give me a good Heinlein example of the "clumsy, careless, stupid person who endangered everybody by acting as if they were still back on earth"? I do realize about you, that since you don't drive a car, that you would be quite unlikely to do well piloting a spaceship of any kind; but I do think you would thoroughly get it about, for instance, remembering who the captain was and how quickly you would need to snap to his or her orders. Even so, you, like me, are simply not the kind of person to function well in that kind of environment, though perhaps not for the exact reasons you gave. (And am I just saying that you and I don't see things quite identically? And how often has *that* happened in our lives?)

Nate

Re: Going into space

Date: 2009-07-20 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] txanne.livejournal.com
Yep. Heinlein smushed my self-image pretty thoroughly. Then I grew up and realized that in first-contact situations, word-brained people will be* just as necessary as the number-brained people who got us there. He also forgot that word-brained people are necessary to explain to mush-brained politicians why they shouldn't gut NASA.

*Hm. I seem to be less cynical than I thought I was.

Re: Going into space

Date: 2009-07-21 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dichroic.livejournal.com
I on the other hand read Heinlein and responded by going to engineerng school - after I realized I could not physically get in to be a military pilot (too short, too blind, and anyway I never *really* wanted to be in the military!).

I am now 42 and working on process improvement rather than anything more technical. So for me it's been a much slower process of realizing I won't get there, though the upsurge in recent years of commercial rather than governmental spacecraft is heartening.

Date: 2009-07-20 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beadslut.livejournal.com
That's it exactly. Thanks for saying it so much better than I could.

Date: 2009-07-21 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beadslut.livejournal.com
The moon landing was ten days late for my birthday, which I still take as a slight.

We were in Ely, our annual fishing vacation. Normally, tv was banned, unavailable, except in the private quarters of the owners of the resort. I was 13 and babysitting a six year old and a three year old, and it was my job to go tell the adults what was going on, whenever they broke from their pinochle game. I remember sitting on the floor, the three year old asleep on one leg, the six year old on the other. I woke them up, telling them that someday, they would want to remember they were awake for it.

It was just magic.

eta: we had Cronkite as well.
Edited Date: 2009-07-21 01:23 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-20 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davidgoldfarb.livejournal.com
You should submit this to tor.com, they're posting lots of peoples' reminiscences.

Date: 2009-07-21 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davidgoldfarb.livejournal.com
I was thinking you could email the text of the entry to Patrick.

Date: 2009-07-21 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] papersky.livejournal.com
You don't have to be a Tor author, you do have to be invited.

Date: 2009-07-22 12:18 am (UTC)
esteefee: A blue lego dog wagging its tail. (dogbot)
From: [personal profile] esteefee
I was only four, but it's one of my earliest memories. I remember my father's excitement, and the grainy image on the black and white TV, although I didn't understand the significance.

For me, it was the space shuttle launch. I'd read too much Heinlein, too, and NASA had fallen out of favor and funding, and I never had much discipline in school, which was why I knew I would never get there.

And I thought of the old man, and the nurse who lied to let him and his fragile bones reach for the sky.

trek

Date: 2009-07-22 11:32 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I was 5. But my mother was a relentless Star Trek watcher. The line between the moon landing and the Enterprise was pretty blurry, I was going to serve on the Enterprise when I grew up.

Date: 2009-07-24 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oneminutemonkey.livejournal.com
Pamela -

Several days ago, I had lunch with my wife and a friend of hers.
When it was revealed that said friend was a Classics major, one quite cheerfully able to quote such things of the Ancient Greek and Latin of which I was only remotely acquainted, I'm afraid I started to snicker madly.

I now owe this friend a copy of Tam Lin. I blame you. I can never look Classics majors in the eye.

Off to take my much-worn Tor paperback edition to bed where I will open it at random and dream of the madness of college. :>

(I figured you might be amused at this anecdote.)

Date: 2009-07-26 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gypsy1969.livejournal.com
In the summer of '69 I was 12 years old. I had only just discovered SF. We didn't have a TV so I listened to the moon landings and updates on the radio. I never thought I'd go because I got car sick very easily, but I thought it was a wonderful thing.

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Date: 2009-07-28 12:44 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
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