Chicon membership

[pameladean]

This is pretty last-minute, but I will not be attending Chicon after all, so I have a membership for sale. We paid $170 for it and I am happy to sell it for that. Or if that's too much, make me an offer. I'm not sure demand for this membership is particularly great.

I have already missed both Minicon and Fourth Street this year because of general fear of COVID coupled with a strong intuition that adhering to good COVID protocols -- which I fervently support -- would take most of the fun out of conventions for me.

I received confirmation of this suspicion recently. Everything is fine; I did not get COVID. But this is what happened:

I had a small grocery order coming from Aldi's, via Instacart. I'd put together an Aldi's cart and a Cub cart with all the vegetables I habitually order and compared the prices; and Aldi's wasn't just a little cheaper for produce, it was a lot cheaper. They don't carry a lot of things I want, but for produce they were definitely a win.

I don't meet the shopper at the door, just have them leave the groceries and go down to collect the groceries a little later. Neither the shopper nor I need any additional risk even of that sort. The shopper duly texted me that she had delivered the groceries, and as is now usual, and much appreciated, included a photo. The house was not my house, but I knew exactly where it was. So I put on a mask, somewhat haphazardly since I expected to swoop my groceries off the steps and leave. The people in that house aren't ordinarily home during the day.

The groceries weren't on the steps. I went up onto the outside stoop and peered into the screened porch. No groceries.

"Hello?" called a voice. "Did you have groceries delivered?"

"I did!" I called back. I moved away from the screen door to the top of the concrete steps, but did not go back down into the yard, which would probably have been a better idea. A young woman and a little dog came out onto the porch, the woman talking very fast about how confused she had been to find groceries on her porch. She'd already put the perishables in the refrigerator while trying to figure out what to do, but she would get them right away. She came back with my two bags. Again, the better move for me would have been to go down into the yard and ask her to just leave the bags on her stoop. I just stood there. As she opened the screen door, she said, "Now I don't want to get too close, because I have COVID right now." She wasn't wearing a mask.

I'd been focusing on whether the little dog would make a break for it. I grabbed my bags, thanked her reflexively, and bolted for home.

This was not an exposure by CDC standards, but those are worth, well, if you pay taxes, much less than you paid for them. I wore my mask into the house and told Cameron, and then emailed David and Lydy. Lydy's response was the very salient, "Grocery delivery is supposed to REDUCE risk!"

I had effortlessly decided to quarantine from the downstairs, but Cameron and I had to decide what to do upstairs. There's only one bathroom for the two of us, and my office doesn't have a door. In the end, we masked up for ten days and didn't eat or watch TV together, and kind of vaguely tried to keep some kind of distance. We have four air cleaners upstairs, mostly acquired for either pollen or smoke mitigation, though I did get the big one with COVID in mind. The weather was cool for the first five or six days, so we had windows wide open and fans deployed as well. I did rapid antigen tests at days 3, 5 and 10. All negative, no symptoms (except that during this time the pollen count went up and I had allergy symptoms, naturally). Before going on a rescheduled visit to my mom's, I did two more tests, as David and I always do, and those were negative as well.

This was probably all unnecessary, aside from the tests and probably the postponement of the visit to my 91-YEAR-OLD mother; but we agreed that it had been good practice.

And it showed me very clearly that I hate wearing a mask, particularly in hot weather, day after day after day. I could complain about it endlessly, but I feel very embarrassed about my reaction, given how many people wear masks for hours and hours just to work and stay safer -- including Lydy! But I will just say that putting on the mask made me feel that my intelligence had contracted and shrunk, and also that I was about a million miles away from anybody I might be conversing with. Many people can't hear me through a mask, either, as I noticed when wearing one to MinnStf events and other outdoor social events in 2021. This was confirmed during these ten days; so I have to bellow, which introduces another unnatural element into the conversation. Since one of the major pleasures of a convention for me is getting together with friends for a meal, and I wouldn't want to do that under current circumstances and with my health issues either, the combination of these factors made me decide that I might as well stay home and help Cameron wrangle the five cats. I also can't take Paxlovid, which is another thing that gives me pause.

Thinking it over even more obsessively, while I enjoy conventions and miss going to them, they are also a source of some considerable stress to me, which has always been worth it for the personal interactions and intellectual stimulation. But when you add the drawbacks of the mask and the lack of communal meals, it's just all stress all the time.

But for people with greater social and organizational skills,  lower risk, and/or better mask tolerance, there's the membership available.

It won't be a tragedy if I don't sell it, since it provides access to the virtual part of the convention as well as the physical.

P.

Comments

[sovay]

As she opened the screen door, she said, "Now I don't want to get too close, because I have COVID right now." She wasn't wearing a mask.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I am also not attending, this month, a convention I had planned on for two years and it sucks, but catching COVID because I went to a convention would suck more.

*hugs*

[pameladean]

It sucks SO MUCH. *hugs* P.

[redbird]

Few people like wearing masks, though some find them more tolerable than others. It sounds like masks bother you more than they bother me, but I also haven't tried masking for several hours a day for several consecutive days.

[pameladean]

The last time I did that, it was early winter of 2020, and cloth masks were still the only ones available to most people. That was not a good experience, but the hourly irritation of the mask itself was considerably less.

P.

[graydon]

I am so glad you were not infected.

It seems to me that you are wise not to attend the worldcon, or indeed any con, also.

We are going to be dealing with COVID for at least another year -- even should the Lord God Jehovah show up with a bucket of thunderbolts and explain that it's extirpation time -- so permit me to implore you to start wearing an elastomeric respirator, rather than a mask.

Masks are designed around being cheap, because they are definitionally disposable.

Respirators are designed around having to wear them for your whole eight hour shift. The industrial designers have had a bunch of iterations, too. So they're not entirely delightful -- they're inherently somewhat damp -- but they're much more comfortable than disposable masks. (The better gasket designs at least keep the damp off your face.)

I have (and like) the MCA Advantage 900 which includes (where the exhaust valve used to be) a speaking diaphragm, which I find works. (I sound like I'm underwater, but not underwater ten metres away and people can understand me fine.) And most elastomeric respirators come in sizes -- small, medium, and large, in this case -- which helps a great deal with fit.

There are a whole bunch of different masks available, from various manufacturers; this one has no more recommendation than that I like it. A speaking diaphragm, no exhaust valve, and P100 cartridges are the only critical points. (I will admit to having a mask with an exhaust valve for those occasions when I am not expecting to go inside anywhere.)

The initial cost is higher but the cost per hour is much lower, somewhere around a third or a quarter of the cost of disposable masks. The P100 filter cartridges are generally good for at least 40 hours, and get switched if you should start to notice either that it is now harder to breath through the mask or a change in colour to the initial blinding white of the inside.

They're also much more effective; after fifty challenges, 99% versus 99.997% is a large difference. (0.6050 versus 0.9985).

[pameladean]

Thank you very much for the information! P.

[ckd]

I like the look of that one as well. Any tips on the S/M/L size determination?

[minoanmiss]

Ugh that sounds awful. I am so so sorry.

[pameladean]

Aww, thank you. Cameron told me at the time that if I wanted to post about the quarantine, I would surely get a lot of sympathy from my Dreamwidth people, but I felt so intolerably whiny that I waited. The sympathy is still very nice indeed.

P.

[bibliofile]

Good grief. I'm glad that you're all okay and COVID-less, but still.

Yes, half the fun of worldcon is socializing, and much of that occurs over food and beverages. I'd consider offering for your worldcon membership, but sadly COVID is in the world of all of us, so no worldcon for me either.

[pameladean]

I feel that's very sensible of you; and in fact it seems strange of me to be offering the membership for sale at all. But there are a lot of different risk assessments and profiles, so I did.

P.

[jenett]

So much argh, yes.

I agree with you about the conventions and the stress and enjoyment balance.

(I am currently in negotiations to have two people over, for something where we can't be masked - ritual work we've been putting off for about 18 months, and if we don't do it in September or early October, the earliest would be February and that has some additional potential complications beyond the pandemic.)

But two people I can have specific conversations with, and who I trust to be informative about any symptoms is so far away from "large group of people, some of whom I know, some of whom I don't, and an extended period of time."

Also, masks in hot weather, particularly miserable, yes.

[pameladean]

Ooof, that is an important gathering and I hope you are able to be reassured with information to the extent that it gets to happen.

My only other experience with extended masking was in early December of 2020, and the warm, moist air was very pleasant in those conditions, though other aspects of masking still became unpleasant in time. Before this situation arose, I'd only masked in the heat long enough to duck into a state park bathroom or attend an outdoor event in breezy conditions, for a couple of hours. I feel nothing that healthcare workers could be paid would ever be enough.

P.

[thistleingrey]

I guess, on the very slender plus side, at least your neighbor spoke up about having covid. Glad you're all okay.

[pameladean]

She was very very flustered, and I suspect did not feel well at ALL, so I have managed to have some charitable feelings about everything, though that was certainly easier after it was clear that I hadn't gotten it from her.

P.

WoW!

[lsanderson]

That seems somewhat unkind of the young woman. It's not advanced science to mask up around others, especially with COVID. Glad you were not infected.

I'm holding out hope that the fall BA boosters will actually work.

Re: WoW!

[pameladean]

There are other people living in the house, too.

I also have hopes for the fall shots.

[ckd]

Yeah, I donated my membership to the Communify Fund after deciding that I wouldn't get enough of the experience I want to justify the increase in risk. (I've tried doing the virtual-attendance thing and it just doesn't work well for me; I think it's too much like being at work has been, so I don't get the same context shift.)

[pameladean]

Oh, that's seriously too bad but makes a lot of sense. I sure hope things can get turned around somehow.

Thanks for mentioning the donation. I didn't know that was a thing.

[oursin]

I suppose the kindest interpretation one could put on the not-masking was, brain-fog concomitant upon the condition, but even so, WHAT. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[pameladean]

Thank you. I suspect that the current cavalier attitude about COVID contributed quite a lot as well.

P.

[asakiyume]

Your mother and my father are the same age.

It's for my dad that I'm [what other people consider] obsessively careful about covid. And yet I got it, because I did a thing that everyone said was very dangerous, namely, go on a very long airplane flight and spend multiple hours in multiple airports. The moral I take from that is, When something is a high-risk behavior, the risk is genuinely high, and so odds are you will get it.

The fact that the place your groceries were accidentally delivered to was the home of someone who was ill with covid just goes to show you how many people are ill with covid right now. She wasn't wearing a mask, but I have to say that my experience of *having* covid is that no one seemed as concerned about catching it from me as I was about giving it to them. I'd promised my next-door neighbor I'd take care of her cats while she was away. "I can still do it," I said. "I'll wear an N-95 mask when I'm in the house so I don't leave virus around" (and also so the cats don't catch it, since cats can catch it). "But also, I won't be at all offended if you want to make other arrangements." ... She was completely fine with my doing it. Same with a guy who came around trying to sell pest control. "I have covid," I said from twenty feet away on my porch. "Okay," he said equably, "I won't get close." Then, taking a step forward, "Now the thing about pest control is..."

I really hope we arrive at a time when there's a more protective vaccine for covid--something at least as good as we have for the flu, where it can be more or less tailored to what's around. Because this thing of just forcing the elderly and the health-vulnerable to have no social life, and forcing everyone else to have potentially long-term-damaging illness three times a year REALLY SUCKS.

[graydon]

It really sucks.

I want to point out, as gently as I can, that it's not potentially long-term-damaging; it absolutely is long term damage, to everyone, every time.

(Everybody gets brain shrinkage, immune system damage, and "cellular aging", a term that is somehow inappropriately benign sounding.)

https://www.researchsquare.com/article/rs-1749502/v1 looks like it's cumulative, too; because of this time, next time is more likely and worse.

The public health failure is large and ongoing.

[lcohen]

well that encounter sounds frightening and aggravating--i'm glad you didn't catch it!

i have a supporting membership to chicon that i will not be converting to an attending membership because between my health stuff and not wanting to get covid again, i can't imagine that it would be a good experience for me. which is annoying because here it is on my doorstep and i can't take advantage. so i wouldn't get to see you anyway, but i wish the world were different for all of us.

*hug*

[pameladean]

Yes, I'm vexed enough because Chicago is driving distance away, no planes necessary; to have it RIGHT THERE must be so frustrating.

If I'd known what was coming I'd have gotten over my sulks at having my book cancelled in 2012 and gone to that Worldcon. Pfeh.

P.

[thanate]

eek; glad you avoided infection this round; the range of levels of concern & precaution out there is distressing.

We just spent two weeks at Pennsic and are waiting to see what & how much plague fall-out there is from that; we had several rounds of the conversation about how this was a *really stupid* idea in pandemic terms, but also our threat modeling includes a sanity aspect which we hoped this would help with, and I cruelly insisted that we all mask in port-a-potties & tents and also on the playground, which was more that just about everyone else was doing.

So we have some data on hot & uncomfortable mask-wearing; we've been getting the Poshmask KN-95s, which are quite breathable despite being about as good filtration as it gets. I can't deal with anything on or around my ears (including glasses & earrings) these days, so I add a back-of-the-head strap I got from Vogmask (slightly stretchy cord w/ snaps around the ear loops & a bead to adjust size-- easy to make your own, & I don't actually rec theirs since the stitching is just a line of straight stitches & that immediately broke on both of mine) which I find quite livable as long as I'm not doing anything too strenuous, and with light to moderate use they last me several weeks apiece.

For talking, there are also the airgami masks-- fancy folded paper domes with a filter sheet attached to the back-- which were designed for singing in; they have extremely high airflow despite excellent filtration and are virtually non-muting, tho the sides where the bulk of the paper folds into are less comfortable, so probably they're better specifically for conversational occasions.

(apologies if none of this is useful to you, but someone in my discord group went down a research rabbit hole of what was actually helpful/necessary a few months back & many of us were very grateful to have specific recommendations, so I try to pass on the favor.)

[pameladean]

This is very useful information and I appreciate your writing it out for me. I hope you may have escaped any bad consequences of Pennsic.

If conventions were not inherently stressful for me already I would probably have made some different decisions, so I have a sanity aspect too but it comes to different conclusions.

P.

[minnehaha]

That's frightening, and I am glad your self-care is keeping you healthy.

K.

[pameladean]

Thank you so much.

While I knew that statistically I was bound to have come near people who were infectious, probably quite a few times, I'd never knowingly been right in front of somebody who was certainly shedding a lot of the virus. It was much scarier.

P.

[mrissa]

Ughhhh that PERSON.

[pameladean]

I KNOW. She is a newish neighbor and I had been wondering if I should introduce myself, but that went right out the window, for sure. I also spent moments feeling guilty for not bringing soup or asking if she needed any help. But really no.

P.

[nineweaving]

So scary! And so dispiriting: we've all missed so very much.

Nine

[pameladean]

We have! And it just keeps on and on. P.

[athenais]

I have gradually gotten thoroughly sick of wearing masks. I am taking more risks this year. It's a bad idea, but like you no one hears me (soft voice) when I'm muffled by the mask. And I'm tired of that, too. But why someone with Covid would not put a mask on when dealing with others I do not understand!

[pameladean]

And if one has a naturally soft voice it's really difficult, at least for me, to raise it without sounding and in some strange way actually beginning to feel angry. I've had some practice with friends who have hearing impairments, but that's specific behaviors tailored to them and it doesn't expand very well.

Yes, that seems like the most basic possible action to take. People are so peculiar, not always in good ways.

P.