The Etiquette of Autographing, or, Public Appearances in the Absence of Coffee

[pameladean]

When I got home from California a week and a half ago, I had two messages on my answering machine, an interesting testimonial to how I have trained most people to use email. One of them was from Don Blyly, who was planning Uncle Hugo's Science Fiction Bookstore's 30th anniversary, and wanted to know if I'd sign books from one to two p.m. with Patricia Wrede, Caroline Stevermer, and Lois Bujold. Since the company offered would have made the trip worthwhile even if nobody asked me to sign a single book, and since I am sentimentally attached to Hugo's, and was flattered, too, I said yes.

One p.m. seemed quite reasonable, even if I have been sleeping badly and dragging myself out of bed at noon. Then there was a bus strike, so I asked David if he'd give me a ride, and of course he said he would, and bring the camera, too. When the signing was planned he thought he might be teaching that weekend, but he wasn't. However, when I checked with him last night about precise scheduling, he had the notion that going out to lunch first would be good. He suggested Taco Bell, which is cheap and which, if you ask for no cheese, has vegan offerings here and there. I said that was okay, but pretty boring, and I could make myself something better at home. David said he could make himself something at home, but not better, with current ingredients, and I said that was because he got to have cheese at Taco Bell, and maybe I could bring a bag of soy cheese with me. He said he'd see if Lydy wanted to come too, remarking that she would not be thrilled by the notion of Taco Bell either.

In the end we went to Baja California, which has fish tacos. I slept poorly, stumbled through my morning routine, had to leave giving Minou his medication until later, and remembered my keys and medicine but forgot a pen. There was certainly no time to make coffee The fish tacos were nott as good as the ones Eric and I had in San Francisco, but they made a very nice breakfast, and were still tolerably cheap. The place had coffee, but since I hadn't brought soy creamer and don't like it black, I had Coke, and got Cherry Coke by mistake. Urgh. I thought the sugar rush might substitute for caffeine, but it really didn't.

I'm not really good at these things anyway. The fine balance between continuing a fascinating conversation with somebody in front of you and noticing when somebody else wants a book signed, the not-so-fine balance between babbling of yourself and asking about the other person, figuring out how to indicate that you were very glad to see people while rushing out the door, and perhaps most of all, knowing what to do about the next slate of autographers, whom one doesn't know personally, really pretty much defeated me. If we had had money, I'd have just gone down the row and bought a book from each of them, and introduced myself, but we couldn't buy the books. I also called one of Marissa's partners by the wrong name, and discovered on the way home that Lydy had found out more about Stella in half the time than I had, by the simple expedient of actually asking standard questions.

Everybody else seemed quite cheerful. I am very grateful to everybody who came and asked me to sign a book. I had a grand time talking to Caroline, who was sitting next to me, and made arrangements to make arrangements to see Pat and Lois. David doesn't know if he had a good time yet, because he's still looking at the pictures. Lydy enjoyed herself.

The hell with rules for writing, I want the secrets of etiquette.

Pamela

Comments

[ionas.livejournal.com]

I wish I could have been there, listening. (And getting my worn beloved favorites signed.)

That restaurant, Baja California, has curiously heavy food, for anyone who has had southwestern food a lot. It seemed, the one time I was there, as if they had mapped midwest food cooking and spicing onto Mexican dishes.

As for etiquette, well, why not ask Lois? I say this because she was all over the country not long ago for a signing, and as I stood in a very long line with my copy of Paladin of Souls I noticed how very gracious she was to each individual. She might have developed some kind of inward mantra, or menu, by which one could be guided.

After all, with the superlative reissue Firebirds has done, and with the new one coming out (huzzah!) you shall be called upon more often for this sort of event!

[pameladean]

I like it above all when people bring me worn falling-apart volumes to sign. This is not reasonable, but I do.

I see what you mean about Baja California, but it's certainly several cuts above Taco Bell.

Lois is certainly very good at signings; she makes it look so effortless, I figure she does it by intuition, but it can't hurt to ask.

Part of it, too, of course, is just that I'm out of practice.

Pamela

[lisajulie.livejournal.com]

so. we. your faithful readers, can hope that you get more practice.

I don't have an set of old, tattered copies because I gave them to a friend to read. When I discovered that they weren't readily available new or even used, my cries of anquish rose to the heavens.

And as for Taco Bell, I had such a traumatic melt-down at one with a former boyfriend that I ceased to register their existence at all.

[pameladean]

Uncle Hugo's had one lonely new paperback copy of JG&R, but I don't suppose that really comes under "readily available."

I can certainly understand your reaction to Taco Bell.

Pamela

[ckd]

I think it's reasonable to like people to bring well-loved books to sign. These are the people who have told all their friends about the great books that they MUST READ NOW.

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, and here I was thinking that it would be bad and embarrassing to bring a somewhat worn book to be signed when everyone ahead of me in line had a shiny, new, even just purchased volumes. And sometimes my copies are worn because the only way I could get them was in a used bookstore.

(I wasn't there, alas, and in fact have only been to one con/signing. But the sentiment held.)

Is this something that varies by author?

[pameladean]

It probably is, but I've never talked to one who didn't love to see those battered volumes brought out for signing. Bookstores do want to sell books when they hold signings, so you could salve your conscience by buying something else new. At a convention, where there is no bookstore's hopes to worry about, I don't have any reason at all to prefer a new copy to an old one.

Pamela

[angeyja.livejournal.com]

The hell with rules for writing, I want the secrets of etiquette.

I beg to disagree.

You need neither of the above.

[pameladean]

But we WANTS them, precious!

(That's a very nice compliment; thank you.)

Pamela

[oursin.livejournal.com]

I want the secrets of etiquette
Me too: I think I must have been off sick the day of this class, along with the one on making small talk.

[pameladean]

Oh, Lord, small talk! Eeeeeeeeeeee. I can do some kinds of Minnesota small talk: Weather, for example. But it always devolves to sports, and forget that, I don't care, I won't do it.

Pamela

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I do sports small talk only with my sons. It has been an invaluable bonding aid.

[pameladean]

I'm sure that in your situation I would do the same, or hiphop, or whatever it was that could actually create conversation. Not being a parent, though, I have the luxury of intolerance.

Pamela

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The guys are quite tolerant of people who miss names, as they do it all the time. (I, happily, do not do it to them. This may be because "sweetie" and "hon" and "babe" are on my lips a lot, and they seem to be able to tell by intonation who is sweetie at the moment, up to and including my great-aunts.) Don't worry about it.

I fuss about etiquette from the other direction at such things: you were mid-sentence when I came in, and then stopped and said hullo, and I didn't want to interrupt. I'm also still working on being less easily distracted in crowds, and on telling whether someone catching my eye from across the room wants rescuing from a horrid conversation, wants me to join a fabulous conversation, wants me to know I have something nasty on the end of my nose, or...something else entirely.

So...wait now. Are you pescivorous? (Is that the right word, or have I asked if you eat annoying people?)

Too many comments, I fear, since I am not yet done.

[pameladean]

Well, if we are both fussed, it was probably really all right. It's odd that I can only tell your guys apart when they are all there. I expect I'll get better at it.

Your formulation of the question reminds me of Eric. I can't even recall now which of us made this word up, but our lament now when a parking lot is full is, "It's not parkacious!"

I do eat fish. This information is not alway useful to people who put butter on theirs or serve it in cream sauce; it's also unfortunate that fish is more expensive than a lot of other things. But it's a useful backup. I always ate it even when I was very, very vegan, as a standby when, say, being taken out by an editor in Iowa City.

Pamela

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

Now this almost sounds like the hellacious time I had, when I was first student-teaching, in trying to notice everyone everywhere in the classroom and what they are all doing and how to sequence events for an Optimal Learning Experience. Except, one should hope, signing crowds are more forgiving than bored and math-phobic teenagers? :-)

[pameladean]

The ones I've encountered certainly are. I gather that some immensely popular authors do gather to themselves, no doubt by mere statistical law, demanding and arrogant fans. But I haven't had that problem at all.

One's not in charge of the signing in quite the same way, either, thank goodness.

Pamela

[marikochan.livejournal.com]

That is good company -- hard to pass up. I just finished Sorcery & Cecelia last week.

If I'd been there I would have asked you to sign a book!

[porphyrin.livejournal.com]

And of course, I'm not reading these posts in order-- I agree. I, too, want the secrets of etiquette.

You were extremely gracious, friendly, and kind. Thank you for letting me babble at you!

[firecat]

There are exceptions, but my general etiquette is to stay away from signings because either I already know the author and could get my book signed by / have conversation with him/her at a better time, or I don't know the author and don't feel like it would be a profitable use of my time or his/hers to meet for half a minute in that context.

But it sounds like you enjoyed it, apart from your etiquette concerns. Opinions about my tendencies?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The thing about this, Firecat/Stef, is that often the author is left all alone at the signing, and you have the opportunity to talk for more than half a minute. Stella was commenting that she was shocked that the place wasn't packed to the gills, with the number of nifty writers all signing in one spot. But a lot of people just don't think to show up for this sort of thing, so then the author is lonely and forlorn.

My primary reason for showing up for signings right now is kind of a Golden Rule: I hope to have them myself and have people show up someday. But close on its heels is that it has been a decent way to meet people and have interesting conversations.

[redbird]

This all makes sense.

I've been to more signings at sf conventions than at bookstores, which has the advantage that if I look and see that there's a huge line, I don't feel that I've wasted a trip, I just go do something else at the con (bookstore signings with long lines often make the entire situation crowded and difficult, even if I'd be happy to go browse some other section). And if there aren't a lot of people, I can talk to the authors.

While I can chat about weather for a long time, if I'm asking someone to sign a well-worn/loved copy of her book, we have a topic of conversation.

[firecat]

Good point...

[pameladean]

Despite being an author myself, I share your tendencies. Many writers are much more accomplished socially than I am, and would draw you out a little bit and make sure you had a nice ninety seconds; they might even find genuine common ground and talk longer if the crowd permitted. I do my best, but it's not so good really. In any case, as downstream remarks have already demonstrated, sometimes the writer has long blank spaces between people who want books signed, and is grateful for conversation. I don't experience this in my home town with two very old friends and one more recent friend also signing, but I certainly would in a strange place.
I've had a lot of pleasant conversation with complete strangers who knew how to draw me out in a nonobnoxious fashion, and even the obnoxious ones have meant well and made me think kindly of them.

Pamela

[firecat]

Yes, I also have inadequately developed "drawing people out" skills, and that's another reason I tend to avoid signings. When meeting someone for the first time I sometimes devolve into a babbling idiot but I more often go completely silent and I know a lot of people experience the silence as uncomfortable.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have found people in fandom to be generally tolerant of my babbling idiotic moments. For me the trick has been trying to worry less about it. If I'm worried, my conversation goes much gappier, with long pauses and then rushed stories about my uncle's dog. If I'm relaxed, I may talk a lot or a little, but the other person looks happier either way.

Also I go into this sort of thing determined to like people. And people like being liked. It's often better than being adored. Also I have decided not to rein in my urge to feed people. It can be a force for good.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

Yes! I had such a nice conversation with G.M. Ford at a signing at Left Coast Crime I had to point out to him there was a line building up. She preened.

MKK

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I remember that some etiquette guru said that the key to etiquette is making other people comfortable, or not making them uncomfortable, something like that. I think that works pretty well most of the time.

[pameladean]

That makes a lot of sense, if one knows how to do it in the first place.

Pamela